now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
