white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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