11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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