I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
