I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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