You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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