i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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