This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
