My nipple is on Facebook.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize