And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
PANTIES FOUND
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
