p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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