and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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