what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
