GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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