I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
