That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
