its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
