lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
