...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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