She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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