Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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