dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
