i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
