spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
