she was so not down for the gang bang
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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