love makes seman taste better
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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