Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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