Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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