im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
