The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
