oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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