I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
