I will die if light touches me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
