Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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