Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so let's talk penis.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
