I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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