I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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