And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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