just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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