Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
