Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
