i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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