i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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