i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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