People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
