i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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