I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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