I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
