I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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