as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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