so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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