don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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