The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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