I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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