Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
pop tarts are not kleenex
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
