I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
