If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
