I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
