If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize